#honestly that argument is kinda hypocritical ngl

[squidkidnerd]

love how Frye won the jp splatfest and lost the western one. Really disproves the "shiver only wins bc Japan is racist and skews the vote!!11!1! 😭😭😭" crowd

[elliethesuperfruitlover]

tw/venting

so im once again randomly sad at 1:30 and honestly i hate it. i always seem to get really just down and upset during the early morning. (probably because i need to be sleeping) but this is stressful to be honest. im feeling a ton of guilt that i shouldnt even feel bad about. right, so we all know that im how old? a minor, and like.......im fine with that. im fine being this age. but like....i feel like im carrying feelings for things that dont even have to do with me. some people are like “yeah, i dont want minors interacting with my content” and for some reason, i always wonder if it has something to do with me. it doesn’t, but i feel this secondhand guilt for some reason, and it hurts. and i know it’s really selfish of me to do that, and im victimizing myself with this. i always obey the “MDNI” on people’s posts, but sometimes i feel like i did something bad. like with smut, specifically, i completely understand why people wouldn’t want minors interacting with that, it makes so much sense.

then i start feeling really upset about how i literally write smut, and read it. im starting to feel like there’s something wrong with me for having written smut, and had a specific audience read and react to it. i sometimes feel gross for just wanting to read smut. and a lot of the fandoms i read smut for may have the “MDNI” on it, which is fine, but after that, I feel this deep trench form, and it’s the worst thing. i just feel like im weird, and dirty for wanting to read smut about characters. and here comes the argument of me, a minor, reading smutty ass fanfiction about grown characters, in some scenarios. of course, i imagine myself older, above legal age, but that doesn’t stop the nasty feelings I feel. and with characters that are my age, or around my age, like with my hero academia, like sure, i crush on sero and everything, but i feel awful about reading smut for him. or even thinking about smutty things.

this also briefly dips into how i interact with my mutuals’ fics, particularly the smuttier ones. i think ‘oh god, am i being gross by interacting with this’ and i know that if they have an issue with me interacting with their fics, they would say it, clearly, and explain what needs to be explained. and i love that. but i always feel like im the weird one here, like im the odd one out, i guess because of my age. and i absolutely love and appreciate that they’ve created a safe space for me. it’s just an internal thing that’s really bothering me. and i absolutely love my mutuals as well. and i know that they also love and appreciate me, i guess i just feel that guilt.

and i know that it’s completely normal for kids my age, and teens to think about, and sometimes desire sexual things. and i know that it’s fine to explore those thoughts. sometimes, though, i just feel like im being a hypocrite. i. e. some shoes marketed towards teens, such as euphoria, and riverdale (off the top of my head, not biased) portray teenagers that might not be accurate. i don’t know what it’s like to be y’know present in a high school, and there, but for my own experiences, at least, i feel like it’s not true, or at least not in all of its glory. im like the outlier for a lot of that stuff. and i know it probably exists in some places, but i feel like this is how society views teens, and what they expect from us. i feel this odd pressure to be everything that society expects me not to be. and on some posts and stuff, i see what seems to be a bit of a disdain for kids of my generation, or at least gen z and i just kinda freeze and panic. i go “oh god, do they think this of me” “do they hate me” and i know that they don’t but it’s this lingering thought of “this is what they think of other kids in the same group as you”. i know it doesn’t represent the entire view but i just feel like i cant say anything, or bring it up. it makes me feel like im the problem.

anyway, i feel like i can’t do some of the things that i want because im scared of what people will think of me. like, sometimes i just feel hot, y’know and of course, send nice photos to a pal or two, but i’d never post that shit publicly. why, you might ask? because im a minor, and just because i feel nice about myself doesn’t mean that i need other ppl being gross about it. some people always say “these teens are always posting stuff all over social media. they share everything on there.” one, yes, we do, some people should know better. but also, two, this is new, people are being misled, mistakes are going to happen. plus, when you dont have that outlet to do other things, you go where you may feel safer to do something. it may not even be the best choice either. i agree that teens shouldnt post everything to social media, but i also believe that we should be allowed to make mistakes too? and have a bit of fun (where it’s morally correct, im not talking about driving people to suicide, or posting nudes (or semi-nudes on insta when you’re 13, that’s just wrong) anyways. i just feel like i cant do anything bc im gonna get shit for it, and further promote an agenda, but at this point im kinda starting to tear myself down about other people’s opinions, and that’s shitty.

also i feel like teens cant do shit in GENERAL, but that’s another conversation for another fucking day.

i always try to keep my opinions and everything at bay, because i hate when conflict is directed at me. and i dont like the panic of waiting for someone to text, or message me when i had what could be considered a hot take. i feel like i cant disagree, or think differently. or even sometimes just speak my mind because im scared of the repercussions. so i kinda just shut up, and stay in my little corner, and i absolutely hate that. but i also dont like being vocal about my opinions because of the fear that it produces.

and also sometimes some of the shit that people come up with im like......okay, i feel like i cant joke about. like when i talk about “MILF dennys” or “DILF buffalo wild wings” I DONT WANT TO BE A MILF, NOR A DILF. i dont even want kids, so ahaha. i say that shit as a joke.

kids, get future milf out of your bio, unless you put a “/j” or “/hj” after it. also, you don’t want to be a sex worker, or a stripper. im pro sex-work, but don’t look at that as your ONLY job option. that shit gets people killed, or tortured, and mistreated. if it’s a joke, it’s a joke, but it’s a dangerous choice, and it’s your grave bestie. and no, people contradicting you isn’t sexist, or misogynistic UNLESS IT’S LITERALLY THAT. people can be like “i think your opinion is a little harmful, ngl” and you can respond respectfully and be like “do tell, im open to  listen” and not go off about someone not supporting your choices. if it’s something that you can avoid, do it. IF IT’S ILLEGAL, DONT DO IT. like, prostitution is illegal where i live, so if yall try to do that shit, dont expect to be given special treatment. people already see kids, women, and sex workers as what? OBJECTS. you’re nothing to people who may be incarcerating you one minute, and calling you for a 5 minute hookup the next. it’s not empowerment to be on places, and letting yourself be groomed and taken advantage of by nasty ass people who need to be locked up. i understand that you should be able to do what you wan, and wear what you want, but there’s some disgusting people out here.

and it’s also the usual shit bothering me, the pandemic, school, my brother saying fatphobic stuff, yada yada. i want a HUG. and i need to sit in someone’s lap for god’s sake anyways.

im also pretty sure that it’s NOT normal to have this many extreme changes in mood. like i was fine earlier yesterday but as soon as i see one thing that hits too close, im upset so....anyways.

also yes i feel bad about this because i really need to talk to someone about these issues, instead of y’know, letting them pile up and haunt me until im emotionally unavailable because i hide my feelings. this is further promoting other people’s view of teens oversharing on social media. but to be honest, people are going to hate gen z, and teens for a lot of shit. and i cant stop them from doing that. i can, however, keep myself out of their line of sight and dont cause issues about it. anyways, im gonna go rewatch some invincible (wow 3rd time now). and try to keep my mind off of wanting to be in someone’s arms while we make out. :) 

[izzyfandoms]

Hi, i dabble with the critical part of the fandom and i wanted to quickly give my two cents if thats okay. I can’t speak for your experiences, but i can say with certainty that the majority of us are aware that our harsher takes aren’t canon! Perhaps theres a few bad apples that are young and lack critical thinking so forgive them for that, but if it were truly so unaware nobody would be tagging their posts, and we do try to comply with that at least! [1/?]

(You're good dw, i don't mind you guys sharing your opinions and talking about this stuff with me lol (it's definitely interesting to talk about!) You've all been super polite and nice so far, which is better than some of my other experiences with talking about this stuff, so everything's good lol)

I genuinely don't have a problem with the majority of people who make this kind of content (Unsympathetic Patton, etc). I don't personally enjoy it, so I don't read it, but you guys have fun! Create whatever you want!

I also don't have a problem with those of you who don't like Patton (etc) or are made uncomfortable by his behaviour. You're totally valid, and when I talk about this stuff I'm not talking about you

My problem is with Specifically the people who act like Patton (and Virgil when he's grouped with him, but he's also sometimes grouped with Remus/Deceit, so it varies) is canonically unsympathetic, the people who get so mad at all his/their flaws, while completely ignoring Remus and Deceit's flaws (and honestly like 99% of my problem here is with the specific people who get mad at me for speaking up about my views on this, cos that's happened a few times). That's honestly super hypocritical ngl, cos a lot of the time I will specifically see people being like "how dare patton be ""manipulative"" in SVS, anyway deceit wasn't manipulative at all" and "how dare virgil threaten logan in DWIT anyway remus's violence wasn't bad"

And those are not exaggerations At All. I have had personal experiences with multiple people who have held those views, and I honestly really don't like it

But also like real talk, this is something I'm fine agreeing to disagree on. I will keep talking about it and making posts about it cos this is my blog and I'm allowed to share my opinion, but I don't go onto other peoples' posts or onto their blogs to start arguments. At most, if I see a post I really disagree with, I make my own post about my opinion, not directly addressing that original particular post or any particular fander at all

Yet multiple times, people who believe the things I said above (anti-Virgil/Patton yet excusing all of deceit/remus's flaws) will sometimes come onto my post and get angry with me, and it's honestly kinda upsetting lmao

(But also quickly I want to clarify that I've had some nice more debate-like conversations with people who disagree with me, where we've both been polite and decided to agree to disagree in the end (cos this is about fictional characters after all, it's not the end of the world) and this also isn't about them)

I honestly think you're spot on with Why the fandom is like this

It's the purity culture thing

Fanders will magnify the flaws of characters we disagree with, while acting like the characters we like are perfect. This is not a new problem, it's just currently focused on patton (and virgil) vs deceit and remus, which is at least partly influenced by how when deceit was first introduced many people thought he was Pure Evil, and how fanders used to think Patton was just Perfect

It wasn't a good attitude then, and it's not a good attitude now, and it's a habit we need to break (though I'm not too optimistic about it rn)

The reason why it's bothering me so much rn is probably because of the hypocrisy I've noticed. Fanders will be like "how dare Patton be manipulative in SVS and DWIT" (I really disagree with that statement, but that's not too relevant rn) and then in the same sentence completely ignore or excuse Deceit's canon manipulative behaviours (and I could (and have) ramble on and on about his manipulative behaviours), and perhaps even more infuriatingly they'll be like "how dare Virgil threaten Logan in DWIT" (I'm not excusing his behaviour, but considering how Logan wasn't even bothered, I'm not really either) and then completely excuse Remus's violence

They're like "how dare Patton manipulate Roman" *ships roceit*

And "how dare virgil threaten logan" *ships intrulogical*

(Not hating on those ships, just making a point, I ship them too guys)

(Also yes people are 100% making fanon remus more chill than canon remus which is fine but some people pretend that this is canon which is uhhhhh idk it makes me uncomfortable (especially as someone who deals with some pretty graphic intrusive thoughts))

It's... not great. Most of the fandom isn't like this, honestly, and this is genuinely the kindest fandom I've ever been in (it's a fandom centred around a real person that doesn't ship him with one of his friends and then harass them about it, that's practically and miracle), but that doesn't make this whole "pure" thing that seems to be the cause of practically all our problems any better

I'm not too optimistic of this problem being fixed tho, but it really could be made a lot better if Those Specific People were more likely to "agree to disagree" than start a fight